Rhymes Galore  

Yeah it takes two to make the thing go right,
two .40 cal slugs to your dome, say goodnight,
two hand grenades into your home late at night,
let the acid eat right through your bones, dat ain’t right

I speak what I live and live what I speak, my nigga. I wrote that verse after I  robbed so-called “Big Homey” Lateef for two bricks. Tied his ass up and clapped him  twice in the face. I dumped his body in the trunk, then rode over to his momma’s crib  where I lobbed two Molotov cocktails through the living room window and bounced, then  I dumped Lateef’s stinking ass by the train tracks and poured acid on him. Let’s see  what his bitch ass set wanna do now, dem niggas don’t get down how I get down. I  wash niggas up, stand back, and watch ‘em drown. Only enough room for one G in this  town.  

The work moved in three weeks. I got dough, but that’s more dough and a nigga  like me keeps dough, so fuck it, two tears in a bucket. If niggas don’t stop me, y’all just  shit out of luck, kid. Figadeel me? I’ma drop that shit in the studio over the weekend.  I’ma use that Jadakiss beat. Shit is crack. Dat nigga won’t beef about it cuz son know I  be murkin’ niggas on the regular.  

Jeah, my gun game thorough,
I hunt niggas, run up on niggas in every boro,
go to war with SWAT teams, niggas dressed like turtles,
I do things that make the average nigga’s blood curdle

Word to me, SWAT niggas kicked down my door and tried to run up in the crib.  They would’ve bagged me, but I just happened to be sitting on the sofa with a fully  loaded AR-15 because I’m like the Big Apple, I never sleep, my nigga. So I got my Larry  Davis on and dumped a whole clip on ‘em. Nothing funnier than white boys from Long  Island trying to do battle in the hood. I jetted up the fire escape and across about twenty  rooftops, then dipped down some stairs and into an apartment that was a crack spot. I  smacked up a fiend and took his clothes. After I changed into the crackhead’s clothes, I  went down to the street and watched the commotion. I’m built like that. Wild  ambulances, more SWAT, helicopters all over, but when I saw the dogs, I bounced. Shit,  I ain’t fucking with the dogs. You can’t outsmart those motherfuckers.  

I took a bus a few blocks to Lexington, then I carjacked a little Mexican bitch and  bounced down the FDR, driving her Nissan Sentra. I took the Brooklyn Bridge and  ditched the car in Park Slope. They won’t look for me in this yuppie zone. I wondered if  my lay-low spot was hot. I ain’t have a choice, so I went there by subway. There, I  scoped out the block looking for cops. Shit looked good, so I went in and gathered my  guns and money into a Gucci backpack. I got showered, shaved up real clean, and  threw on my Gucci sweater and matching kicks with some Evisu jeans and bounced.  

Son, I’m on the run, wild money in the backpack under the guns,
Only stacks of big facts, no fives, tens, or ones,
I’m all set like the sun, going to war for fun,
The cops done did it now, but they didn’t get the job done,
But I’ma show ‘em how, now I’m out to get one

I spit fire, my nigga. Word.  

I saw a pig coming out of Dunkin’ Donuts with a cup of coffee and a bag of  donuts. Ain’t that some shit? Some typical Officer Friendly shit. I slowed my walk, let him  settle in and get the seatbelt around his fat, chocolate eclair eating ass. I backed the  Glock out and walked right up on the car window, and squeezed off three or four hollow  points in him, all from the neck up. People scrambling for cover.  

“I ain’t after y’all! Just chill,” I yelled, but they ain’t stop.  

Fuck ‘em. Law abiding citizen ass motherfuckers. I reached through the shattered glass  and snatched the bag of donuts.  

“Shots fired, over and out,” I told his dead fat ass, chucked the deuces, and spun off  laughing.  

I reached in the bag for a donut, but blood had somehow gotten on them, so I tossed  the bag on the sidewalk.  

I don’t know where I’m going now. I’m trying to decide what to do. My mind drifted  back to my rap career, so I thought about that. See, niggas get on by battling with stars.  Like 50. He got on by wrecking Jah Rule. Hova would’ve never got so big if he didn’t go  at Nas. The list goes on, but fuck dem niggas. I’ma get on by murdering one of these  faggot ass weirdos in the game. I’m thinking about blowing Lil’ Wayne’s brains out. I  can’t stand that corny nigga. But his man, Drake? Tryin’ to be tough Toronto ass nigga  there? I think he’s the one, for real. I might blow his eyebrows off with a shotgun. But  jeah, that’s how I’ma get on. I’ma take a nigga’s life and take his spot. Take this rap shit  to a whole ‘notha level, word to me.  

Hold up…see this shit here is what get a nigga tight. I’m walking down the street,  trying to tell y’all how I’ma do me and these cops is trying to move on me.  I backed out and spun around, “Fuck you mean freeze?” I yelled and started dumping.  I had to jet though. Dem niggas let off crazy shots at me. I felt my backpack jump twice.  If them niggas put holes in my Gucci shit, it’s on, for real. I did the old school shit and  hid under a parked Con-Ed truck, watching they stupid asses run by. When it was clear,  I went down the manhole where the Con-Ed guys were working on cables and shit. I slid  past them into the dark sewer tunnel. They was working on some shit and didn’t see or  hear me. Good for them because I really don’t like killing working class niggas. Know  what I’m sayin’? It’s against my principles and morals.  

I’m walking through a dark ass sewer tunnel. I can’t see shit, but I know I’m  fucking up my kicks. These jawns cost me four hundred and fifty. Somebody gon’ pay,  yo. I came up on a lightbulb and stopped. A nigga was thirsty as a bitch. The Glock was  empty, so I tossed it in the water and took out some other shit, a Springfield Arms nine  millimeter. Pretty shit, with the walnut grips and three full clips. Down here in the dark I  wish I had a laser on it. I sat with my back against the wall. I had a studio session  booked for late night and I wasn’t trying to fuck that up, so I tried to take a nap.  

I’m in the booth, truth about to lay my shit down,
Nigga interfere, back out, lay my clip down,
Really tho’, I’m liking the way the bass in the track sound,
Look out the glass, I’m seeing pink faces in the background,

Nines empty, I’m spraying the mini MAC now,
Fade to black, I escape out the back,
Runnin’ for my life, slugs ricochet,
I turn and spray, gunning for my life, to see another day

Yo, sup with these motherfuckers? I’m in the studio trying to drop my shit, son,  and these cops wanna get me. I got headphones on listening to the track trying to get in  my zone, but when I look out, it’s wild cops running up in the studio. I had just enough  time to get the fully auto Mac out of the backpack and squeeze off, then it was like the  Fourth of July in that bitch. I hit the backdoor and bounced down four floors and came  out in an alley. Boys in blue shooting at me like South Central in Cali. What the fuck? I  had to return fire and duck. Obviously, these cops want trouble today. Don’t they know  they fucking wit’ a real N.W.A.?  

Once again, I dipped on these stupid NYPD niggas. Oh shit!! Oh shit!! I’ma do a  song called “N.Y.P.D.”. It’s gonna stand for “Now You Punks Die” or maybe “Not Your  Problem, Dickhead”. Nah, chill. I read in a book that a first idea is always your best idea,  so I’ma stick with “Now You Punks Die”. Word. I’ma get Swizz Beatz to do a track. I  know producer niggas make hot beats under pressure, so I’ma keep a ratchet to his  head while he’s making my shit. I ain’t gonna murk him though. I like his shit. Dat nigga  got the dope ad-libs. I might shoot the five with him though, beat his skinny ass up right  quick. It’ll be all love though. I could rock wit’ Swizzy. Maybe I’ll make dat nigga sign me  to his label. Get to take some flicks with his wifey, Alicia Keys ’n shit. They’ll print dem  shits in Hip Hop Weekly, for sure.  

I walked past an electronics store and froze on the spot. Yo! They had my face  on all the TV screens. Some shit about a manhunt and I’m armed and dangerous. Hell  yeah and I’m tight cuz deez motherfuckers made me fuck up my Gucci’s. But yo son,  now I got a buzz going. I bet 50 somewhere going, “Why didn’t I think of this shit?” He  probably looking for me to sign me to G-Unit now. I ain’t fucking with 50 though. He  gonna wanna be on all my songs ’n shit. I’m not with that shit.  

It’s people out here buggin’ now, pointing at me and getting excited. This must be  what it’s like to be a star n’ shit. Then they gotta fuck it up. I see flashing lights coming  down the street and hear sirens. I pull out the nine and jog up the block. I only got two  clips left. Yo, I gotta conserve bullets. I see two plain clothes detectives trying to form up  on me, so I grab this old lady and drag her with me. I want to get to the subway at the  corner, then I’ll shoot this bitch and they’ll have to stop and help her. A police car jumps  the sidewalk in front of me. They tryna stop my flow. If it’s my time to go, best believe  I’ma have company.  

Aim and squeeze, duck and run, I’ma ride out,
Nine milly slugs blow a cop’s side out,
Gotta get to my hideout,
Y’all niggas already know, but they about to find out

Damn, I’m out of bullets and I gotta get a clip out of the backpack. I smash the  bitch in the head with the gun. She falls at my feet. They’re yelling at me to freeze and  get on the ground.  

“Hold up, hold up…time out,” I tell them.  

They keep yelling at me.  

“Time out! Chill! I gotta get a clip out my bag, yo,” I yelled back.  

I felt something hot in my side and looked down at my sweater. There’s a red spot  growing behind a hole.  

“Yo! I fucking said time out! How the fuck you gon’ shoot me and I said time out?” I  said, mad as a motherfucker.  

They gave me a standing ovation, mad cops clapping at me. Clapping, clapping,  and more clapping. I’m on the ground looking at the sky. I try to get up and give them an  encore, but soon as I move, they start clapping again. I exit stage right and the curtain  comes down. I’m waiting for the credits to roll, but the screen fades to black.