The Failson Couplets

Tactically, I swerve between the cars in GTA.

                                                                        My mother says Totino’s on the way.

My girlfriend exists in the second dimension.

                                                                        My sorrows are too numerous to mention.

My passions are eclectic, and various.

                                                                        All of my emotions are vicarious.

On the internet, I play with ideology.

                                                                        I could have been a viking probably.

Back in the day, I’d have taken by force

                                                                        what I happened to want on top of a horse.

But I’m fat, and a nerd, and I can’t tie a knot.

                                                                        I am the sum of the plushies I’ve bought.

I am the son, malignant in growth,

                                                                        fruit of a monster incomparably gross.

Mine is a life that will never get started.

                                          I have left my mother broken hearted.

                                                                                   I have earned the right to say “retarded”.