Below is an excerpt from Patrick Kilgore’s “My Lovely Neighbor.” The full story can be found in his upcoming collection Boogie in the ‘Burgh, while his poetic meditations on “our increasingly sexless, sterile, and online society” can be found in the recently released chapbook Spectres of Saturn.

My Lovely Neighbor [Excerpt]

I spent the entirety of the morning masturbating. I wasn’t pleasuring myself to the memory of flashing my neighbor from two nights ago, no, that wasn’t it. I traveled back in time two months to that fateful evening that set this series of otherwise unforeseeable events into motion. Back, back, back, in my memory to the first time my lovely neighbor saw my prick. Saw me sitting on my couch in my living room playing tug of war with myself to a “Hidden cam/Creepshots/Spycam Thread: because the last one hit its limit” on the 4chan /gif/ board that I had multicasted on my Samsung – 50″ Class – LED – NU6900 Series – 2160p – Smart – 4K UHD TV with HDR. I’m not entirely sure how long she was standing there before I noticed her presence, long enough to know she was watching me. When the realization that I was jerking off to an audience hit me I burst into a quick fit of laughter. The meta-irony of what transpired wasn’t lost on me. Me, sitting there jerking off to voyeurism while my neighbor watched me from just inside the entrance way of my living room  that leads in from the kitchen, which is where I assumed she entered seeing as, on a regular evening which this was, I leave the sliding glass door unlocked as well as the gate to the fence leading into the back yard where the gate that leads up the stairs and onto the back deck only has a tiny metal latch on it that even a small child could undue with little trouble on their part⁠ and my neighbor who, for as long as I have known her, has never been the shy type of girl that would be afraid of something like pulling off along the side of the highway with traffic speeding by at 65-90 mph just to have an almost violent screaming match with an overly zealous, large, balding man in an ill fitted suit over who the worse driver of the two was or something like walking into a friends house when their door is unlocked and casually strolling through all the rooms until she either finds who she was looking for or finds the house to be completely empty in which case she always writes a cute little note on the watermelon pattern notepad she keeps in her purse signing it with an “XO” and then taping it up on the refrigerator for you to see when you got home at a later time. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Was how she made her presence known. 

“What the fuck does it look like to you?” I laughed. It looked like I was jacking off because I was.

“This isn’t funny.” Said my neighbor as she stood there trying to stare my cock off my body and into her hands.

I kept playing with myself, just ever so slightly. I didn’t want to lose my erection. When she left I was shutting the porn off, closing my eyes, and riding my fantasy of her jumping my bones right at that very second off into that fleeting paradise. Life under the pleasure dome. “I think it’s pretty fucking funny. You bust in here unannounced all the time, no pun intended. Something like this was bound to happen eventually.”

“You’re still playing with yourself! I can’t believe you!” My lovely neighbor hasn’t taken her eyes off my cock since she entered the room. 

“My eyes are up here.” I said motioning with my free hand, taking two fingers like I was making a peace sign, and pointing them at both my eyeballs. To my surprise she hadn’t left yet. I took this as a sign she secretly enjoyed the show. I am the ringmaster! Gaze at my gilded scepter, baby! I started to become more deliberate with my strokes. Now that I held her eye contact she couldn’t break it for fear I’d call her out again. There are voyeurs who prefer to always stay hidden and then there are voyeurs who get off on getting noticed by the object of their lust. I wonder which one of these categories my lovely neighbor falls into. I felt my pleasure welling up to a head at her flustered embarrassment and my prick swelled to twice its usual size. I had a hell of a bone on. I’m quite proud of it when I think back. My neighbor licked her lips and then swallowed them for half a second before they popped out of her mouth wet and glistened with saliva.

“Will you stop that already!” Her breath was ragged, her cheeks flush, she shifted her weight back and forth from her right leg to her left leg continuously trying to feign her discomfort. 

“I live here! You can leave whenever you want. Don’t let what I’m doing stop you.” She didn’t get a chance to respond. I couldn’t hold my climax in any longer. The gates of the dam were open and the town was flooding. Sound the alarm! My lovely neighbor broke my eye contact and watched me cum and that just made me cum more furiously, more violently. That fertile runt of a cunt with her big birthing hips couldn’t hide her delight from me anymore. It oozed out of her like sap from a fresh cut tree.

“Uhh!” She squeaked and moaned at the same time.  “I can’t believe you just did that.” Her breath was even more heavy and uneven. Try as she might she couldn’t hold back a slight grin.

I took some of the semen that landed on my stomach and rubbed it between my two fingers. “I can’t believe you just stood there and watched me do that for the last few minutes.” 

“Well, I…ah…um…” she couldn’t seem to get her words out. All the flesh on her body flushed red like a lobster. Her right arm spread across and up her chest as if to shield her from what was happening — her hand played with her hair out of nervousness. 

I interrupted her senseless stammering, “You could have left whenever you wanted to. Why didn’t you?”

“You know what? I’m leaving right now then.” And she left the way she came in ⁠— back through the kitchen, out the sliding glass door, onto the deck, down the steps, and out through the gate in my fence. There was no note on my fridge when I checked later that evening. 

I had to do it again! I had to! See? Do you see? Do you? You can’t blame me for my lechery! I had no hand in the budding of my desires! None at all! No! It was her! All her, you see? That lovely neighbor of mine! She’s the one to blame here! I am just a victim! That’s it, a victim! A victim of her womanly wiles! I’m just an unwilling player in this game of hers! Lusts glorious slave!