Limits

The pastor was taken aback when he was asked to perform the ceremony in a bear suit.  But then he saw the fairy wings attached to the bride’s lizard skin wedding dress, and he shrugged:  oh, it was to be that sort of wedding.  He imagined the base of it was simply secular, and the religion only for show and a way to get help on the paperwork.  The groom would be gaudily costumed as a goat.  Pardon, a ram.  Appropriate, no doubt.  The night after the wedding the couple would be hoping that no one in the hovels around the newly-weds conjugal night’s hammock would get a finger of sleep.  Two witnesses, one dressed as Death, one as an iron-clad Aphrodite.  Or maybe these were not disguises, costumes, or a wedding dress.  The audience would be playing soccer and the wedding itself would take place at the first game stoppage for foul.  Vows would be exchanged, admonitions delivered, and the game would be resumed. But what if there were no foul, the pastor asked as he looked up from the over-worn bear costume.  Oh, but you don’t know the crowd, the curious groom said, and popped the pastor flat in the mouth, though largely in demonstration vice in true violence.  Thankfully, the fee was good; and, when at the proposed wedding, the game evidenced no foul – at least none that were called by the distracted officials – he got to keep the fee and negotiate a new fee for the potential nuptials at the game set up for the next available solstice.  Same bear suit.