How to Cure Any Depression (Using One Weird Trick Discovered by a Mom!!!!!!)

To cure any depression, all you have to do is:

1. Transition from male to female

2. Drop out of grad school

3. Get addicted to methamphetamine

4. Run away and join a vegan sex cult down south

5. Ruin all your relationships

6. Move into a punk squat with a bunch of conniving anarchists who use “radical” politics as a smokescreen to mask their intolerant, puritanical, Salem witch trial antics

7. Get AIDS

8. Do so many drugs and get so high that your brain stops working and you can’t come down

9. Detransition back to male

10. Wander around New York City for six months, sleeping in bushes and public parks and making friends with all the other psychotic homeless people

11. OD

12. Move back in with your parents

13. Flush all your psych meds

14. Try to kill yourself with the scarf your sister gave you

15. Go to the hospital

16. Go home

17. Go to the hospital

18. Go home

19. Flush all your psych meds again

20. Sleep for two years

21. Wake up

22. Take a walk

23. Get a job, you fucking degenerate!

24. Drink water

25. Yoga

That’s it! You’re cured. That’ll be five thousand dollars.