FEED THE MONSTER

Eat me alive

No sleep til the body’s forced into it

Mental fauna, cultivated fevers:

bred for transmutation

Externally assembling the internal Forms, animated with another’s voice:

flesh – catatonic dysphoria, flow of disgust

the world – written in viscera, dysphoria disembodied

all its turning faces – lying across an ocean of vomit

Salivary drip – semiotic expulsion shaping gangrenous birth (and what right do I have to speak on its behalf, this child now autonomous?)

Fixation gone (in its place, only the whole world remains)

Remorse is secondary, there is one fate, for the thousandth time a lone pedestrian screams into the azure onstretch as they slowly transfuse a new assemblage:

Upon the ties we constructed, upon the love we lost, upon the paradise that is to come, upon bloodstained seas that run deep (swirling unpleasantly behind every blink in this daily mundanity, this plasticshit polyphony)

(days pass in a nervous spell until finally realizing no work has been done – resolution at last as it is transcribed)

Wading pools violent like a thousand flowing mirrors, spectral hand in mine:

(“shhh, it will all be okay if you just follow me”)

How many million planes of delirium will we cross?

In the name of our Father, O Lord…

I am hell, I am salvation, I am waste flung into communion

Existing to bring about your murky wishes from beyond the veil

Disenchanted union of continuous rumination

somehow maintaining its hold, a corrosive indulgence – mountainous plasticshit rot convulsing into phantasmic hurricane

Crawling onwards daily, autoimmune (filled to the brim with an abundance of life)

am the wind, am every breath upon the landscape – addicted to you.

({[inallcases: a refusal to dull my torturous sensitivities, the darkness so bright in a world so unfortunately the opposite]})

–

A delicate vision flashes before my eyes, becoming the mouthpiece once again:

Flight of disease, see the world in ruptures, pulse with a sacred violence – will to life

Want to find others like me

But also wish no such fate upon them

Childlike affection for twisted hearts

Embracing between cell walls