The Arsenic Queen


This is the first part in a series of articles featuring some of the world’s most heinous (and overlooked) serial killers.

It’s 1833 in north-western France.  You’re a priest named François Le Drogo; the wind is blowing through your French hair, you drink French wine, and everything is just very French.   Mm, pour être Français.  Oh, and you just hired a new servant, Hélène Jégado, and you’re going to be dead within the next three months.  Aside from that, life is good.

If you haven’t heard of Hélène Jégado before now, let me enlighten you: she murdered at least thirty-six people over the course of eighteen years, and let’s be honest; it was probably more.  She had a particular love of arsenic, which was perfect, because she was also a very skilled cook.  I would say she was badass, but now I’m paranoid about being slipped arsenic, and I can never eat homemade food again.  Thanks Obama!

Born and raised in France, Hélène spent quite a few years working in a rectory along with two of her aunts.  Believe it or not, she didn’t kill anyone there.  At least not as far as anyone knows.  She was, however, a kleptomaniac, which is what eventually led to her dismissal.  It wasn’t until she was thirty years old and working for poor Le Drogo that she made her first kill.  And man, when she got started, she couldn’t stop.  She killed … (wait for it) … seven people in one household in the span of three months. And to attest to how far she took her dislike of mankind, one of those victims was her own sister, who happened to be visiting at the time.  Holy shit!  I’d love to know what that sibling relationship was like.  To add insult to injury, Hélène then went on to replace her sister in another household, where she killed three more people, including her own aunt.  Ah, classic family dysfunction.

I almost have to admire Hélène.  Not for being a psychotic arsenic chef cuisinier—a term which I just made up on the spot and probably misspelled—but because that shit just got crazier, and she kept getting away with it:  even when her employers suspected her, even when she was questioned by authorities. That’s how convincing she was.  That being said, she was so naughty that she usually couldn’t keep a job for very long, save for her first rectory.  In the 1840s she took an uncharacteristic hiatus from killing and simply stuck to her first love: stealing.  And you can guess what that did for her career.

It wasn’t until 1850 that she regained her killer instinct.  She had just joined the household of a lawyer, Théophile Bidard, who actually survives this story.  Two of his maids did not, however.

After poisoning the first maid, which she initially got away with, she later went on to murder her replacement the following year.  Oddly enough, she spared her employer this time around.  Unfortunately for Hélène, she gave herself away by telling the police that she hadn’t done it, she hadn’t poisoned the food that the maid ate, nope.  Rookie mistake!  You would think that after decades of lying, manipulating, and acting, she would have had no trouble in playing it cool and going on her merry, poisonous way.  Alas, that would be her last crime.  Despite killing enough people to fill a church, she was only charged with three murders, three attempted murders, and eleven thefts.

And then she was beheaded, which is such a French way to die.  Or maybe I’ve watched The Scarlett Pimpernel too many times.

In cases like this, the question is always: what motivated them?  The general consensus is that she took revenge on anyone she didn’t like or who had accused her of stealing.  Basically, she was the master of holding grudges.  I think it’s safe to assume she had one hell of a mental illness or personality disorder.

The fact that thieving got her fired more often than her killing of men, women, and children, is both disturbing and oddly understandable.  It’s one thing to accuse someone of nicking your jewelry, but to accuse them of murder and possibly be wrong, well … most of us don’t want to go there.  It didn’t help that they didn’t have solid proof.  She was never found with arsenic in her possession, and I’m guessing they didn’t track down her former employers.  It wasn’t until her name hit the papers that her former employers and surviving victims came forward.  Nowadays, all you really have to do is Google.

Until next time!  Meanwhile, try not to piss off your servants.

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