Tales of the Bus Driver: Embedding With the 999th

The war is on in Heaven, as Loyalist cherubics, still-hopeful divine servants of an absent God, fight with the Rebellion, those among the host who are convinced that Her sabbatical will be a permanent affair.

These images and the accompanying text are excerpts from an ongoing blog created by Sebastian the Younger, a somewhat infamous “internet misery tourist” who has made forays into journalism. Sebastian is not an official reporter, and resents the Loyalist-influenced “Associated Yes” news organizations that typically cover the conflict.



“Angelz and Demonz”

When I asked Lord Hardon how many soldiers were mustered under his command, he presented me with a shrug and a guess: “Pfft, shit I dunno. Thousands?” That’s him in the picture above—a crude construction paper/magazine cutouts collage given to me by a soldier named May—shooting a man that could be me on a bad day. The water from the supersoaker was mixing with his sweat, tears, blood: a real mess.

That’s right, it was just a water gun (boy did that get some laughs). This poor fuck was sitting there, tied up, waiting to be executed by one of Fuir-Nim’s ranking regional officials, and he pulls a water gun out and squirts him. “Bang bang, honey!” The man, a Rebel commander from one of the Eastern precincts that the Loyalists and their Agrarian backup have yet to clean and sweep for God, was later beaten to death, I heard.

It’s always interesting to see Agrarian depictions of the host. These are people who’ve never read a Bible or seen a piece of Renaissance artwork, but they almost always draw us with wings of some kind. I guess they do watch some of Old Earth’s television shows on their GovBoxes between trips to the ration depot, so there’s that.

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