Bliss

gazing out the driver side window, nick the Smoker takes his first hit. as always, the criteria for whether this cigarette, a brand native to China, is good or not boils down to 3 things: flavor, taste, aroma. a cigarette rolled with a good looking or nicely textured rolling paper can make an ever slight difference; however, much of the enjoyment depends on a balance between those 3 elements. “I’ve seen a lot of weird looking, and awesome looking chinese cigarettes,” he’d said nonchalantly while unwrapping the plastic off the black paper packaging. nevertheless Nick the smoker still gave us less jaded a glimpse at the elegant gold hanzi characters printed on the lip of the pack.

There is a tinge of douchiness to reviewing anything. It’s making a conscious effort to notice things about a cigarette, movie, food, alcohol, song that an average person might not. at least not at first. many critics, like the cancer ridden roger ebert, get a huge ego from being on this self declared podium. What i like about Nick the Smoker is he’s a 20-ish year old guy, who doesn’t seem to see himself as an authority. with his out of style thin rimmed glasses, slicked back hair, leather jacket, and confident chicago accent, he sometimes doesn’t post for weeks. this shows how little he cares about gaming the Youtube algorithm by posting crappy videos every other day. instead he appears unexpectedly, quickly spits out his trademark opener — “heyhowy’alldoing nick the smoker here. it’s time for anothercigarettereview” — while patting down the bottom of a fresh pack — typically one exotic to america.

regardless of how many views a person gets — if any at all — smoking’s never going to be good for one’s lungs. bummer. there’s nothing like taking a hit of a cigarette; joint; Vape; blunt; probably even crack pipe. anything that burns the throat, distracting one’s tongue from saying the wrong thing. a meditation for people too neurotic to simply close their eyes and drift off on their own. during inhales, Nick the Smoker’s presence wafts into the white noise of his car. it has no decorative touches: no steering wheel cover, neck rest, not even a tree shaped air freshener. what stands out the most about the background is how prestine his 2 back leather seats look — not a scratch on them. they give me the sense that his vehicle’s kept meticulously clean and, outside of YouTube, used for relatively normal activities.

Finally, he breaks the silence, “This is bliss.” his coffee with milk colored jacket regains focus. but Bliss. that’s a word i’d never heard him use before. he takes the cigarette out of his mouth, glancing at what’s left. a little more than half. it’s rolled with black paper with a very tasteful gold trimming. Bliss? what happened to the formula? a flavor, taste, or amora can be blissful. Nick the smoker usually isn’t the type to leave his viewers so in the dark though. in one video he compared the taste of a cigarette to “coconut milk.” so blissful in what way? Blissful in how evenly the tobacco turns to ash? blissful in that the filter’s cozy when chewed down on? Blissful in what way?! blissful how?! Nick the smoker takes another drag, struggling to hold back his fanboyish grin, “This is a blissful cigarette.”

END